Dear Dad,

I understand that it’s summer and it will probably be hot for our family portrait session. But I BEG you, please don’t wear shorts! I know you get all nostalgic about how amazing you looked in the 80’s when short shorts were the “thing”,  but it’s time for some tough love, Dad.

No one wants to look at your knobby knees!

I know this is hard to believe, but trust me, ten years from now you’ll look back on these portraits and be thankful our family photos don’t look like this!

Sure, we could ask our photographer to photoshop out your hairy legs. But don’t we really pay him enough already? I just think there might be a big bill if he has to deal with that. And mom’s going to be pissed if all our photos have to be cropped from the waist up.

I’m only telling you this because I love you.  Just like when you tell me not to eat with my mouth open at the dinner table.

Sincerely,

Your Son (who promises to smile for a few photos as long as you promise to take my advice!)